Peace and Love Family! So as I put 10 toes down on this artist's path and invest 1,000,000 % of me into it I find myself experiencing some high level liberation and embracing that this was always my path. It is only now that I own it and any artist will tell you that the obstacles to getting to a point like this are innumerable. We exist in a society that doesn't quite get it (and lets be honest, never will) while also seeking to profit from our heartfelt production.
I figure its my duty, goddammit, to start revealing some of the things that we are never told but that are pivitol to our acknowledgment of our purpose as artists; especially as I come upon these revelations just about every day. Every week or so I'll add a few new ones and maybe I can compile something (in no strict order of importance) that can be passed to young artists that are considering compromise or abandoning the path altogether.
I know everything can't be squeezed into a list and the akward, painful and challenging circumstances an aspiring artist experiences shouldn't be avoided (its what gives expression substance and builds spiritual grit)...lets just consider it a paying forward of kindnesses or a solid done. Here we go.
#1: You will never "fit in" because you are constantly evolving.
Something I find myself saying a lot to myself and others is this:
"I have always been looking for my kindred."
It's not untrue. I have always sought the reciprocation of compassion, love, creativity. I have always wanted someone to say "Yeah, me too" or "I felt that before." Equally, I have also always felt like the most out-of-place person in human history. I'm learning that all of this is normal as an artist matures. The hurt comes from naivite and expecting horribly unrealtic things (which is distinctly different from dreaming big, just to note).
This is what we need to know. Fuck fitting in! During the course of a day you will evolve into (at least) several different people, endless stories will inhabit you and comfort will almost always be out of reach. All the angles you see things from makes it pretty impossible to stay in a single mental, creative or social setting. Here's why all of that is dope. You, essentially, bring the party with you wherever you go....fit doesn't even register when you ARE the atmosphere. You are made up of and naturally inclined to the stuff that people go to great lengths to have by spending, lying, pretending..etc. You roll out the bed in the AM with it fully intact. You are all the kindred you could ever need and beautifully, once that approach sets in folk start to gravitate to you...good ones, supportive ones, genuine individuals that share a collective passion. You're not supposed to find a place, you create it.
#2: Control is an illusion and you are hardwired to surrender
The word "surrender" illicits a whole big preconditioned set of responses, most of which are rooted in powerlessness. Conversely, the word "control" creates an unearned sense of strength usually rooted in this weird shade of human entitlement that essentially says that everythng has to make sense to you.
For the artist a conflicted actuality is typically the result of all of these misdefined and forcibly imposed ideas. If, on the spot, someone offered you a cool milly to explain how you do what you do or where it comes from you likely will have missed out on a cool milly. Thats not a bad thing though (losing the milly would suck, of course) but this is where the illusion of control ahs hindered. Most times the explanation will be beyond you...in large part because you are wired to commune with the beyond. You are literally transcribing messages that many will never be attuned to...or will never fully acknowledge. This is also where surrender emerges as the superpower you possess. To be able to trust something intangible, that you can only sense in a subtle way and then to take that and create something tangible, shareable, relatable is the epitome of dopeness. Straight up.
The more we invert our perception of power and the value of our gifts we see that old addage of square pegs and round holes applying more and more. You don't need control to be powerful (but most will) and surrendering will never make you weak. Our journey is a damn difficult one and there are going to be times where you want to feel "in control" versus the feeling of teetering incessantly (that's normal) or where you won't feel like giving in to a certain creative urge (usually because it makes you confront a pain you've been hiding from). I assure you though, the path will endear you to this and..its not farfetched that after accepting this you could snag that milly (i think I just like saying milly lol) or a wealth beyond even that.