Prepare yo-self and be thankful. I'm about to reveal some high level info about the inner workings of the black manhood experience from the persepective of someone debunking some of the greatest miseducation daily...that's right, yours truly. In no particular order I'm going to present a common misconception of black manhood every week or so with an explanation of the falsehood and of what the real is. Uhh, you might wanna take some notes (black queens specifically)...things won't look the same to you after reading these.
Black Manhood
Misconception #1:
Black Men are dogs
The Real
The World (Black Women included) wants animals and brothas have obliged.
So lets kick this one off with an immutable, universal truth: We bend to the will of black women!
That truth in itself is beautiful. There's no need to deny it or puff up with bravado.
We gotta let go of that weak reactionary nonsense.
Honestly, its natural to be that way because deep down we know how
critical the divine feminine is to us. We come from it and have the deepest love for it and you.
Here's where the issues have arisen we are just as divine and just about everybody knows it but us.
Black men aren't raised to feel divine but we are raised with the expectation of meeting the expectations of external forces, off top. No matter what those expectations are (dig that real quick). We carry a "primal" sophistication that the world envies and can't explain. Shit, straight up, we don't know what to make of it much of the time and if you have immeasurable strength others will develop methods of measuring it for you. Black women in their infinite strength have done that, at times treating grown men like something to be trained. I think some of that could be a natural nuturing vibe but I also tend to thing it is a way to flex and create points of control when feeling powerless.
Brothas have aquiesed to this through conditioning of course and now continue it out of pure survival instinct and fear of doing anything different. Fearful mianly of relinquished what we have been duped into perceiving as power in this devolved state.
We become domesticated animals; trainable, simple, predictable, dependent and pacing our metaphorical cages. Its all for fear of safety that it goes down this way or, better put, its a fear of liberation that keeps that cycle spinning. Simply, we brothas will do what its takes to feel less vulnerable and sistas, you will do what you must to feel more protected.
Black Manhood
Misconception #2:
Black Men are emotionally insensitive
The Real
We feel everything. More than we have the emotional IQ to articulate.
The dominant, overarching perception of black men is that we (outside of the whole of humanity, apparantly) are impervious to emotional states. Except for anger. I'd say maybe this perception has shifted a bit, but only with the few brothas that have a platform to display compassion on a massive scale or attached to a certain cause (#metoo or gender equality as examples).
We all know the major Black Manhood Rhetoric bulletpoints: Emotion = weakness, Passion = appearing scary (which could get you shot, so just don't), Intelligence = inferiority in your enemy (which could get you shot, so tone that down), I'm sure you get the theme i'm illustrating. Black manhood has become repression (or it better be, lest you upset someone and bring death to your doorstep).
Black men are among the most empathic and compassionate people you will come across due to the what we are subjected to emotionally, from childhood. The perceievd coldness is the defense mechanis but I've found that its the thing that you are most "vexed" by that becomes a staple of your being. For the highest or the lowest purpose...thats our choice. This mass subjugation (implemented during childhood) has stunted our emotional IQ significantly so we have the power and little idea of how to use it. The opportunities to access real manhood through vulnerability, transparency and acceptance will make us better protectors, lovers and fathers..in time. Sistas, your patience is invaluable but trust your intuition because some are too far gone to be reached.